Great News!

Today is a turn around day for me.  I've been in such a despairing mood lately.  I've been down, sad, weepy, tired, and unmotivated.  NOT a great place to be.  I had been praying to God to just get me out of it.  The process of IUI was starting to take a toll and it was only round 2.  I found myself getting so overwhelmed by all the information and possible outcomes, I was loosing my focus and refocusing on the bad parts of all this.  But this morning's appointment really shed light on our situation and it just felt good! 

Here is it:  We go in for an ultra sound to see how thick my lining is and to see if I have any follicles that are ready to go.  I just had this gut feeling like I wasn't going to have anything.  Last month, I had to go in for 2 ultra sounds because my eggs weren't ready yet.  And at that point when they were ready, they weren't that big.  I believe they were 17mm and 15mm.  Still pretty small, but doable.  This month however, Dr. Wong goes in and see's that my lining is looking very good.  He then proceeds to look at my ovaries.  Left side...nothing...wait! NOTHING! my stomach kinda dropped.  (Mind you, he's not saying a word, he's just fishing around) He then proceeds to check my right ovary.  I think this ovary is my champion BTW.  All of a sudden I see on the monitor two really big blobs....I thought, is that my ovary?  But then! I saw that there were two big blobs.  That flicker of hope sparked inside me and I wanted to scream YES! He measure and confirmed that I had two very large, ready to go follies.  One at 21mm and one at 19mm.  

HOLY GUACAMOLE! 

These are excellent numbers when it comes to follicle size.  I was very pleased.  He then told me to trigger shot tonight and we would come back very early Sunday morning to Inseminate! He told me to sit up and get dressed and he would meet us by the nurses station.  I looked over at Justin with a huge grin on my face and gave him a high five.  I think Justin was in shock, because he asked me....uhhh what does that mean?  I said we could very possibly have twins! lol.  oh dear LORD! We walked out of the appointment with a very different pep to our step.  I said to Justin on the way out...I said, "Babe, my heart is so full right now. "  Thanks God, you knew exactly what I needed to get me out of this slump.  I needed positive in my life, 

and I sure received that. 

Its so easy to loose sight and loose heart when you are walking through a valley.  It's easy to look around and wander and fixing your eyes on the brush that's around you.  But, if you keep your eyes fixed where they need to be, your path will be that much easier to walk on.  There are definitely bumps and sticks along the way, don't get me wrong.  He see's you.  He know's right where you are.  He knows your heart and what makes it break and what brings out fulfilling JOY!  It's not an easy road to be on, but it is the BEST.  I wouldn't trade it for anything else in this world.  

Thank you God for knowing my heart, and meeting me right where I am.  Thank you for making yourself known to me, when I desperately needed to feel you the most.