Oh baby.....

If you know me at all.....you also know how very much obsessed I am with babies.  Having them, loving them, seeing them, wanting them, telling other people how cute theirs are, having them and wanting them....uhhhh....I think i really want a baby! Justin and I had made a firm decision that we weren't even going to touch the baby realm until we were completely out of credit card debt.  Among these past 3 years we have been married, Justin has had to deal with me having bouts of sobbing, sadness, yelling, and lastly, trying to reason with him on why we should have a baby...NOW! I thank the LORD that I have such a strong husband, who really knows what's best for our family and had firmly (but gently) put his foot down and said NO. No?  really No? to me?   WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me give you some background on our financial situation.  We got married, both knowing that we had debt.  We toughed it out and have been working on getting out of debt...wait for it......OUT ENTIRE MARRIAGE!
yes...i said our entire marriage.  This August will be 3 years.  Now, I am super proud of how far we have come in these 3 years..... We had under 20 K of debt, but when lost jobs and not working for a long time for one spouse comes into play, getting out of debt and just surviving is what happens.  Yes I lost my job 7 months into our marriage, and didn't get my first real job until last year in July.  So from March 2009 to July of 2011 I was "unemployed."  My way of making money.....Cleaning houses.  I ended up working for Justin's brother for a while with his janitorial company, but it left me sick all the time, doing back breaking work.  We were very thankful for the work that did come in.  Now we are doing great......

SO anyways.......The other night Justin and I sat down and figured out exactly how long to the month, it would take to get out of debt, save an emergency fund, and save for my income for the baby. ( I only work 30 hours a week and won't receive paid leave.)  We finally figured out ( we are in no way math people) it will take us 26 months from August.   So with this....we can start to try in 17 months.  This is super exciting for both of us, but I think more so for me.  Let me tell you just how crazy I am about having babies of my own.  I spend countless hours searching Babies R US for gear that I want.  Researching what is the best of the best, how much everything will cost.  And anytime I pass baby clothes in stores I just wander through and look at all the outfits and picture how I would dress my kid. And the worst, I talk about babies so much... my coworkers think I will steal babies...(in a very ridiculous, joking manner).  It's bad.....

So after all this excitement of seeing the "Light at the End of the Tunnel,"   I start to thing negative...listen negative Nancy....you need to book it out of my brain ASAP!  I start to think things like....what if we can't get prego for a couple months...maybe a couple years! How devastated I would be.  So then I think, maybe we should start earlier that 17 months.  Oye Vey! Snapppppppppppp out of it! Amber! Stop acting like a RE RE and just be normal!

So lastly, through my many melt downs, my sobbing moments, and all my crazy baby talk, there is an end in sight.  So now you are filled in on my babies woe's.