Wednesday, December 21, 2011

This week needs to be over!

Do you ever feel like everyone in the world HATES you? Welcome to my life at the moment.  I feel like I can't say or do the right thing, to make anyone happy.  When I say something it comes across wrong.  When I do something it's not right.  I'm sick and tired of being walked on! Certain people in my life ( who will remain nameless) just make me totally feel like I have to walk on eggshells around them other wise I can't do or say anything correctly.  Why do I spend so much time and energy making sure other people are happy, Why can't I be happy?

God is a huge rely on source for me.  Without Him, I am nothing.  It is so hard to look past that sometimes and to get so caught up in life.  I find myself, giving myself a reality check in order to realize what really matters.  I'm just feeling tired.   Tired of making everyone happy.  GOD I DON"T KNOW HOW TO NOT DO IT! HELP!

I've said it on Facebook, and I will say it again, I cannot wait for this week to be over! i can't wait to be seeing my brother and sister in law, and my nephew! And! to top it all off, I get to spend New Years with some of our best friends! Needless to say, We cannot wait for this vacation!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Today is Today, Tomorrow is Tomorrow.....

Over the last couple months I have started to realize just how much my anxiety and stress over ALL the little things, is causing me to have such bad health issues.  I've had to be put on anti-anxiety meds, depression meds, started going to the chiropractor, and just had to deal with really bad headaches.  So lately I have really come to terms with said saying, "Today is today, tomorrow is tomorrow."  It's time to let GO, and let GOD.  For real this time!
I feel like I have been trying to let other people, medication, excuses fix me in some strange way that I can't even explain.  I've been riddling myself with excuses of why things are happening to me, when under  my own nose, I am the one that can fix all of it.  I just need to 1). Start working out 2). Start giving everything I have over to my heavenly Father 3). Start taking ownership of myself. 4) Just start living!

* Once I got married, I think I let everything in life get in my way of having fun! I seriously can't relax, and just have fun! I used to be able to do it all the time! I think now it's going to be part of letting go.  I need to realize, I do have purpose, I do matter, and people actually do care.  I need to put my family first and realize that Justin and I are a family and having a child will not make us a family.  Having a child will bring an addition to our family.  I've been through a lot in my life, more so emotionally.    But those things, don't make me who I am today.  I am what I make of it.

So as of today, I have weened myself off my anti anxiety med's, handing it over to God and being thankful for what I have, I've been owning myself and decisions more, and feeling a sense of freedom.  I'm thankful for the people who have stuck by my side and uplifted me.  You know who you are!

*Loves