15 weeks and 5 days!

I can't believe how fast time is flying by.  We had an appointment this past Monday to meet our OB Dr.  We love her! We couldn't have asked for a better team to take care of us.  She is also super down to earth and she just knows her stuff.  (Obviously, because she is a doctor)  So far so good.  My blood pressure is great! My rate at which I'm gaining weight is great!  My testing they do every appt for glucose came back perfect.  Overall, this has been an extremely easy pregnancy.  I mean, I have my things, but I know other women who have it much worse with tons of complications and I'm just very thankful for what we have going on.  God is definitely watching over me and baby G.

I think I finally feel my energy coming back slowly but surely, and it's a little surreal because I know as soon as the 2nd trimester is over, so is my energy...and my breathing...and everything else.   lol.  I have been feeling more "flutters" as of lately.  It definitely only when I'm sitting or laying down.  I know what they say about what and when you should experience things, but I'm a firm believer in it's YOUR journey and YOUR body.  EVERYONE is different and no two pregnancies are the same.  Like at all.  They say that skinnier women tend to feel the baby sooner, ummmmmm seriously?  The stats out there are what make women treat each other so badly when it comes to mother hood and raising your kids.  That's the point, they are YOUR kids.  Not joe smoe down the street that you just have an opinion on.  They are YOURS! You are responsible for birthing them, feeding them, making sure they are safe, and loving them.  No one know's how to do it better for your kids than you (and your husband).  END OF RANT>

I have been noticing I'm feeling aggressive, not to scare you off.  I'm not towards people, but just in general.  I'm sure it's my hormones going cray cray, which in turn is making me cray cray. CRAY CRAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I digress, as today I ate chili cheese fries for lunch.  The whole not gaining any weight thing is getting to me.  I need to put on the brakes with that thought.  I mean once in a while I guess is okay, but right now I feel like I just ate crack and I'm shaking like a leaf.  Not to mention the sugar in the fruit punch is probably doing that to me.  BUT WAIT! Yesterday I ate really healthy, salads and all that.  So like I say again, I guess once in a while isn't to bad....Am I trying to convince you? or myself?  IDK.

We have our next appt on the 27 and that is a full anatomy scan.  Which means.....GENDER! YAY! I have to do my second state blood test for abnormalities that day as well.  First set of test results came back so negative, it's stupid, but oh so great to hear.  So they do it by chances, so the higher number you have the more negative you are.  Our numbers for Trisomy 18 came back in 1:92,000 yes i said 92,000.  And for Down's I believe it was in the same neighborhood, tens of thousands.  SO we felt really blessed by that!

I feel like God is giving me my biggest test in patience. I'm such an instant rewards type of person, I think that is why loosing weight hasn't worked out for me.....YET.   I'm learning tons of patience through this baby cooking stage.  I'm enjoying it, but I'm anxious and just want to meet our little guy or gal.

I know some of you are probably wondering where my belly pictures are.. To be honest ( and no this isn't a bashing to myself, its just a fact) You can't really tell the difference.  I just look really overweight, more so than I did before.  I'm not a stick that you can see a cute little baby bump  at 15 weeks.  I look more like i'm 25 weeks pregnant, because of my extra layer of love.   As soon as I feel comfortable doing pictures, I'll put some up.  As of right now.....you will just have to imagine it.

Until next time! I hope you are all doing well! I hope you can find joy in your life or circumstance and know that God is meeting you right where you are today!

13 weeks 6 days......

So I've been havin a shoulder issue for the past 3 days and I finally went to the chiropractor today.  When it wasn't feeling better I decided it was more of a muscle issue so I asked Justin if I could get a massage after work. So we did, and I figured Justinshould have one too since he's been tight in the shoulders lately. My massage started up facing up ad ten she had me turn over on my belly half way through.  I was a little weary of this because I have first time mom syndrome. You know, where you freak out about everything to the point of everyone around you either rolls their eyes at you or they want to punch you in the face, yea that syndrome! Anywho......

She assured me it was fine, and so she continued to crank my shoulder. Which was uhhhhmazing!  As I was laying there, 

I started to distinctly feel the baby. It was those flutters everyone is talking about but a little Stronger sice I was laying on my tummy.  I couldn't believe it! I thought what I had felt before was the baby, and I could have been right, but this was consistent and I felt it almost the entire time.   Baby was on the move! I felt so blessed to be able to feel those flutters. So amazing. It totally took my mid off the incredible pain that I'm having from my shoulder. Hopefully I can still focus on that as I'm going to bed in a lot of pain still.  Until next time! 

Week 13

I'm finally in week 13 as of Sat, and it feels good to be one step closer.  I feel like this journey has been so long already since we basically found out I was pregnant at 10 days along.  Welcome to infertility!

I've had many changes over the last week or so.  My exhaustion is still there, 10 fold it feels like some days.  My nausea is still there, just NOT with a vengeance. PTL! I still have a weird diversion to meat some days.  I never really know what to eat, but fruit is great! I can never go wrong with fruit!

Sleep is over rated these days.  I wake up a lot.  I usually can't get comfortable so I toss and turn all night.

I feel like my mood and my hormones have been doing pretty good, until this past week.  Oh boy.  I want to cry all the time.  I want to punch something or scream.  My fuse is super short and I just kinda want to stay holed up in the house so no one is around me.  My poor husband! He is so sweet and being so good to me through this process.  He is encouraging and such a good listener and just hears me when I complain about the 100 million things that are wrong with me.

Things that I cannot wait for are:  Feeling the baby move around and kick.  The sensation I was describing last week, has left the building.  (yes i feel so huge already that i feel like a building.  Not negative self talk, just what every pregnant woman feels like)  I'm excited to see our baby on an ultra sound again at the beginning of Feb.  So thankful for those ultra sounds.  They keep me sane.

I know with my next pregnancy I want to be a lot thinner and healthier so that I don't run into so many issues with the way that I am feeling.  Having experienced it first hand now, I will know what I don't want to do for next time.

This past Saturday, we moved all the stuff that was in my moms garage and in our storage unit to the place we will be living come June! My moms best friend, we call her Aunt Sherry, owns a home in Covina, and she will be moving in with her parents in Pasadena for who knows how long.  Her mom is going down hill pretty fast and I think her dad is doing okay.  But she will be living with them until they both pass.  She wanted someone she knew to stay in her house and watch it.   We fit the bill! We are getting it for a steal and couldn't be anymore blessed by it.  It is a 3 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom house with tons of storage and a huge back yard and front yard, and on top of it...its super cute! She is going to be doing some upgrades/ changes to the bathroom, kitchen and back covered patio before we move in.   I think it will be great.  She wants to sell it after her parents pass and who knows what will happen after that for us.  We are just thankful for the opportunity to bring our baby home to something that God knew we wanted so bad.  A place that wasn't an apartment(not that there is anything wrong with that) and that was quiet.  We also have central heat and air, as well as a dishwasher, and there is a covered patio that has a washer and dryer in it.  We are beyond blessed....

Fun questions and randomness about the pregnancy!

I have been asked by someone in particular to do weekly updates on my pregnancy.  I will try to remember to do these, but I'm super forgetful lately and so I can't promise anything! lol.  

We had another ultra sound yesterday to do some testing for down's and trisomy 18.  So far we are in the clear, but its only 75% accurate.  We will have another blood test done at 15 weeks to confirm to 90% accurate.  I'm super thankful for these tests they do as they just calm this anxious heart.  God knew exactly what we needed when we needed it.  He's provided for us the whole way so far.  We are so thankful.  

So lets get to it! 

How far along: 12 weeks 5 days!

Total weight gain: So far a loss of 1 lb.  (I actually lost 5, but have gained some since I went to winter camp!)

Maternity clothes: I have been in maternity jeans now since weeks 3 or 4.  Since I started out heavier, my jeans sure shrunk up fast on me.  Especially because I was so bloated from the IUI which was normal every month I had it done.  

Sleep: Sleep? what is that?  lol.  For a few weeks I was waking up all night long and would sometimes wake up at 2:30 a.m. and not be able to go back to sleep.  I just do a lot of tossing and turning these nights....Sorry baby! At least you get naps! 

Best moment of this week: Seeing le bebe on the ultrasound yesterday for about 40 minutes.  We really got a sense of when he/she does while they are cooking in there.  Lots of playing and pushing off with their legs.  

Miss anything: Sushi, wine, beer, sandwiches! for the love of all things holy! I just want a bagel sandwich! lol.  

Movement: Nothing on the outside, but the last couple days I've been feeling this tapping and spasm-y/fluttery feeling right where the baby is. I know it's super early, but who knows!   

Food cravings: It more of lack of food craving.  Since I have been so nauseated, only certain foods are okay to eat for me.  Meat and I have a daily battle and some days it constantly is loosing.  I've been eating Mac and Cheese, Cereal, fruit is wonderful, eggs, and bland foods.  

Have you started to show yet: hmmmm...i think i just look fatter! 

Gender: not yet! 

Labor signs: I hope not yet, way to early! 

Belly button in or out: Nothing yet.  

Wedding rings on or off: def on! 

Happy or moody most of the time:  I was happy until Monday.  I started feeling really aggressive.  I'm not sure if it is the hormones changing, which means the baby is growing a lot! 

Looking forward to: Finding out the gender soon.  Being able to get more energy in the second trimester.  We will see if what they say about that is correct or not! 

I'm not sure I completely love this one, but I will play around with the questions.  Hope you all enjoyed this, and I'll see you guys next week! love you all and praying for you as you go about your weeks! 

Amazing weekend

This past weekend I was able to experience God in a way that I haven't been able to in a really log time. As some of you may know, I volunteer at church in our Middle School group. I also lead a D-group with my good friend Tiffiny. I love it! It took me a long time to put myself out there and to trust God to let myself be uncomfortable and be outside of my comfort zone. It has definitely stretched and strengthened me and I am looking forward I it continuing to do so. Back to what I was saying..... We all headed up to Forrest Home and oh my word, it was amazing! God spoke right to this aching heart and he knew I needed to be fulfilled by only what He could fill me with. The theme this weekend was Louder! Not being louder as a person but being louder for God. And maybe, just maybe being louder isn't always a good thing. You see, when we are loud, we aren't listening for God. We need to shut everything off and listen to the still small voice. Our tounges can be used as a hurtful and harmful weapon instead of being used for good. That isn't loving. In order to love others, we have to love God first. Loving God is vital to us just like breathing air. When we love God, amazing things can happen.  Coming away from this weekend, I was able to get to know some pretty fantastic 7th and 8th graders. I feel so privelaged to know them and I know they will make my life better for knowing them. There is something huge about pouring your heart into someone else's life, especially young people. 

 I'm thankful and forever grateful for the time I had at Forrest home this past weekend. I will forever be changed and never loose sight of the One who lovingly made me wholly and completely to love Him. 

Happy New Year!

Well hello everyone! I hope your holidays were wonderful and fantastic and spent with amazing friends and family and focused on the High King! As our family is winding down from the fun that was had, we are starting to get further along with the baby! I'm officially 11 weeks as of this past Saturday! I had a doctor's appt.  today and was feeling nervous because my symptoms had changed so much.  I wasn't really feeling pregnant aside from nausea, sore lady's, headaches, and extreme fatigue.  I used to be able to actually feel that I was pregnant way down there.  So I asked the nurse if we could just get a heartbeat, and she kindly responded with, Of Course! You get an ultrasound today too! ahhhhh! I was so happy! So baby is healthy, happy, and squirming like you wouldn't believe! We have another ultra sound next week as well.  I'm so thankful for Kaiser.  They have amazing people working for them, and the way they do things is phenomenal!

We met our midwife today and I'm absolutely in love with her.  Her name is Diane, but she prefers you to call her D.   She is kind, and warm, and so informational.  God def knew what He was doing in this.  I will soon meet my new Doc soon, but until then, I'm just beyond grateful! Justin really loved her too, so that was so great.  I'm super healthy! I have actually lost 5 pounds due to the nausea I've been having, and causing me to not really eat very much.  It's okay! I'm starting out heavier, so it won't hurt the baby to loose some pounds.   I'm walking on average 2-3 times a week and I'm hoping when I get some more energy I will be able to get more days in.  My dr explained something to Justin and I today that made sense because I just can't understand why I'm so tired.  Basically you have sleep depths, as we all know, 1-2 is considered where you dream and relatively light sleeping.  You can wake up to anything at this stage.  3-4 is your deep sleep where your body can repair itself and heal, and give you your best rest and you will feel rested.  Pregnant women only sit at a 1-2.  They don't go into 3-4 but on rare occasion.  So.....it all makes sense! Last night i woke up around 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep until i got ready for work.  I'm a very light sleeper these days.  I feel so bad for Justin, because I am tossing and turning, ALOT! Thankful that he is on disability still and can catch up during the day as his body is still healing itself.

I'm loving the process of being pregnant.  I love knowing that half my world is inside me.  Justin is my other half.  It's just a special thing.  I will be forever grateful to God that he is making me a mommy.  Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers! They are so appreciated! We love you all!

Our Baby Shrimp!

Last Friday we had our very first ultra sound of our baby! We went in on Friday at 8:30am and she took a bunch of measurements.  Everything looked great and baby Gerhart was measuring exactly at 7 weeks.  We officially "graduated"  from Infertility and we can now be seen by an OB.  So we have our first OB appt appointment this Thursday at 10am.  Prayers would be greatly appreciated! It is a 3 hour intake appointment and Justin is so graciously going to come with me.  He is just incredible.  He wants to be there for everything, and I feel blessed by this man every single day.  While we were having our first ultra sound, Justin immediately whipped out his cell phone when we knew that we were going to hear the heart beat.  Here is what he caught!

My immediate reaction was, "Baby! It's a little shrimp!"  and it is! It is our little shrimp, and we couldn't be happier!