Thankfulness

My new challenge to myself with going through this rough patch, is trying to find thankfulness in all that I do, say, see, hear.  Among all of my health stuff going on and trying to change my attitude right along side all of that, I have been feeling so down  and can't get out of it.  I remember seeing something that my sister-in-law Jenn posted one day about Thankfulness and Attitude.  It has really reemed me hard in the head and in the heart.  God wants us to gives thanks! and praise His name for all we have! Amongst ALL my annoying complaining, I was drowing out how greatful I am for things. 

I find myself daily talking to God now, and just giving him a laundry list of things I'm thankful for.  I tell Him why I am so thankful for the things I pray about.  I feel like my heart is starting to change as well.  This week one verse has really stuck with me, Philippeans 4:6 "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, give your requests to God."  Now, I know this verse is saying to give everything to God because His hands are in all we do, but I also find this verse to be a reminder that as much as God wants us to give everything to Him, we need to THANK Him for EVERYTHING! God loves a greatful heart. 

I know Thanksgiving is coming up, so I challenge you all to start today until Thanksgiving, (maybe it will stick longer) to Thank Him for anything and everything.  See how your outlook on life changes a tad. 

Blessings on all of you!

Thanks for listening. 

Uphill Battle....

So..It's been a few weeks, I think since my last post. There's been alot going on with me health wise, and I'm still in the small uphill battle with it, but I'm almost seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. 

For the past 2 years, I've been struggling with Choric Sinusitis.  It started as acute and went to Chronic.  This has meant countless headaches and migranes, pain to the touch in my face, being overly tired from my body trying to fight it, countless amount of anti-biotics and major pain meds to cope with the headaches.  I recently was FINALLY referred to an ENT.  This next week I will go on a steroid to see if it will help my sinus lining reduce down.  It is thickened and causing some of the stress.   Hopefully that will work. 

My other problem I am currently dealing with is Anxiety.  I just went to the doctor yesterday and I was having a random anxiety attack, and it completely affected my blood pressure.  They couldn't get a good reading on it, due to it.  I am taking all the necessary steps to help myself control it.  I have group classes, and I will be seeing a counselor.  I'm starting to feel better as time goes on, now that I'm aware of what the problem really is, i'm finding that I can breathe through it a little better.  I have NO CLUE as to what set this off.  It's progressively gotten worse over the last while, so I feel like there is some end in sight. 

I started reading a book called, "Lord, change my attitude before it's too late."  I got it from my sister in law Jenn, who is going through the bible study part of the book with her women's group.  It looked interesting, since I'm  really struggling with my attitude lately, so I bought it.  Boy have I already gotten so much out of it! I'm in love with this book.  The author, who is also a pastor, puts thing into the clearest perspective.  I feel like this book was written just for me! (which is so not true) or maybe it was.  God is so amazing, I'm finding just how real God is, and just how much He HATES complaining which is something I do VERY well.  I have always thought myself to be a God fearing woman, but I really wasn't.  Now I am.   I am more in love with God now than I ever have been.  I want to please Him, not disappoint Him by my bad choices or my bad attitude.  I want to be thanful for everything I have from Him, not complain about every little thing. 

Today I am so thankful for friends and family,, who has steadily supported me through this process.  It is wasn't for you, I wouldn't have thet strength to do it.  I thankful that our God is a God of healing, and LOVE!

Favies

Seeing as it is MONDAY and I absolutely despise MONDAY, I have decided to write about some of my favorite things.

One of my newest favorite things that make my <3 just got pitter pat, is



I have been so inspired and have really started dreaming and using my imagination again.  My crafty side is coming out again, and it really make me feel rejuvenated.  I now feel like instead of buying something new, I can rejuvenate it with something!

My next favorite thing...is more really like a person.   She is:

She has really become one of my favorite bloggers, and her food we have often in our household.  Honestly the more I read her blog and get to know her, I feel like she is one of my gal pals and we talk about everything and she totally get's my wacky ways..

I mean doesn't she just look like the nicest lady you have ever met in your life! 

So with that being said, she really does make some amazing food! And to top it all, I really feel like I live on the ranch where she live.   I know that' s a bit creepy, but it's the TRUTH!   

Another thing that I absolutely love is what I like to call ocean breezeeeeeeeeeeeeee................

This past weekend we were celebrating my nephew Silas McCormick's dedication with the fam bam, and up where they live in Oxnard, they get the most delicious ocean breeze.  It is rejuvenating and delicious.  It makes me feel like this...

yup i feel like a reed swaying in the wind.......

I'll update you on my favorite things....but for now those are just some.  

Half Dome

So as I'm contemplating how i'm going to about getting motivation to really truly get back into shape, I was reading an article on how a famous athlete gets motivation after an injury/ any kind of set back.  I realized through reading this article, that I need to simply focus on one goal.

Yes, this is how you climb the infamous Half Dome.  My close friend Megan climbed it with our other good friend Sophie and I think she said it took them 12 hours! Ummm.....what?   12 HOURS? YES! I think this sounds like a challenge.  I think I just might have to do this.

So my goal is going to be to climb Half Dome next year when Justin and I go to Yosemite with Kathy and Andrew in June 2012.   Now, I realize this is an all day thing, but I really want to have an accomplishment in my life in the physical activity world.  I think this will help me get to my goal, of being the healthy I want to be.  I want to just feel good.  I'm starting to be put on so many med's, and different antics that I'm scared because I'm way to young for all of this.  I can do this! I want to do this! I will not be fat and LIMITED my entire life! 

Balance

One of my amazing, most genuine, most amazing best friends is currently and has been on the hunt for balance in her life.  I try to help her and give her sound advice about her job and life in general, as well as just listen to what she is going through.  She has a tough job, a respectable job, but non the less it is a very tedious and demanding job.  Last night while we hung out after an amazing kickoff to Glendale Relay for Life, we were talking about balancing life again.  I suddenly realized that as much as my life looks balanced on the outside....it's really not.  

So then I started to think about what is my problem! Mostly I think about why I cannot get fully motivated to loose weight.  What is keeping me back? Why can I find EVERY in the book to not do it! When I had my personal trainer, Keva, for 3 weeks, I did pretty well actually.  I was pretty proud of myself.   But when it came to cardio on my own, I completely failed.  I came up with some reason why I couldn't make it to the gym that day.  To tell you the truth, I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety issues lately, and it is finally to the point where my doctor thinks I need to see a psychiatrist.  Oh JOY! 

WAIT WHAT! 

A psychiatrist? Are you kidding me?....were my thoughts exactly! I do not want meds, I do not want someone telling me I'm crazy! 

Which is exactly how it makes me feel! 

But I figure if i'm there to talk about anxiety, then maybe I will be fine.  Maybe they will just tell me ways I can channel my anxiety to be productive.  

More so than anything along side anxiety, I think all of this comes down to my self worth.  How much do I think I am worth to be healthy? For me, for Justin, for our future kiddos.  Apparently, it must not be very high if I can't do anything about it.  I just wonder when will that change?  What needs to happen in order for me to be kicked in the gut and realize that it's a lifestyle and not just something I need to do.  What is it that is going to click?  All these things ring true in my mind, and yet I cannot get the will power to get off the dang couch and move! I feel intimidated and almost lost in myself when these feelings come into play of me not wanting to do it.  

Anywho.......all my friends have tried to help me in some way, and I just couldn't get through it.  Hopefully there will be a change sooner than later.  For my health's sake.  

Houses and Thankfulness........

So I know it's been a while since I last posted, and I keep thinking how much I love to blog, but I always forget.

So here it goes....

The past couple weeks have been pretty action packed, emotionally filled, and hectic crazy for us.  We have been all over the place, including vacation.  We went to lake Tulloch with some very dear friends, and we had a great time! Then we came home to the daily grind and things have been non-stop! I signed up for a couple sessions of personal training to start getting back on track.  It's been going well and now my sessions are over.  I feel blessed to have the trainer that I did, as she really helped me see working out in a positive way again.

For the past 4 weeks or so we have been looking into and getting as much information about the real estate world.  We have out weighed the pros and cons, and the pros win! lol.  We are casually looking into buying a home and seeing where God wants us to be.  The beginning process has been pretty fast, and we are not getting our hopes up for anything, as we want to make sure we are making the best possible decision for our family.  Let me list you some of our pro's and our con's.  (Mostly because I'm a list maker and they make me happy)

PRO's :

• Investment
• Saving our money on rent as everything our there that is more than a 2 bedroom is ridiculously expensive and we can't afford it.  
• We can have write off's! 
• Having a safe, homey place to bring home our babies.  

CON's:

• Having to pay for everything ourselves. Even repairs.
• What if one of us looses our job, especially Justin. 
• It being a little further away than we would like, commuting. 

Ultimately there are way more pro's and con's, and i'm sure for those of you who have already bought your own home, you would say we shouldn't do it.  We feel very at peace with this decision and we are getting educated on what everything means and entails.  We have and are still doing our homework. 

  

Aside from all of this....I am just feeling over all blessed.  I have also realized that I have not pushed myself to my full potential.  Through different various occurances through different people in my life, this past week has shown me really how truly blessed i am.  I am the only one who is holding myself back from anything.  I used to have so many excuses of why things were bad, and crappy.  Not anymore.  I am in control of everything around me, what happens to me, what I do to others, and how my life plays out (well God has the upper hand in that one).  I won't go into specifics of what has happened, nothing bad, but just huge reminders of what I have.  What I can be.   I feel thankful for those things that have shown me reality.     

With that said, my daily goal, is to keep a thankful, fulfilled heart everyday.  There are so many people in my life I look up to and I'm reminded of that when I see those special people.  Mostly Justin.  He is the biggest influence in my life, and I cherish him to the core.  

Letting GO.....

BEWARE

......Flat out truths about myself are to be exposed.........

Today I was sitting at my desk.... reading a friends blog who recently (like today) was featured on a blog as a guest, and I realized how much control I try to have over things I really shouldn't worry about and get upset and sick over.  I realize that there are a couple factors that go into this.

1.  My attitude...  A few years ago, my lovely mother-in-law gave us this amazing paper on attitude.  It's so true.  I just get so lazy and exhausted of life, that my attitude goes out the window.  I have so much room to improve my attitude, that I really need to start living the way God wants me to and be who He created me to be.

2.  Let Go, and Let God...I will admit that I have put no time in towards devotions, prayer time, and talking    to God about my worries and fears.   I have no real trust in my Heavenly Father, because I haven't worked at building that relationship to a solid foundation.  This is where I have always lacked due to      not having a solid relationship with God growing up.  Letting go and letting God, this is very difficult for me to do.  I know how easy it is, but it seems so hard.  I want this in my life, I just need to stop and take the time.  Life is crazy, but not crazy enough for God.  

3.  Talking more with my husband.... Once again my attitude gets in the way.  Being tired, at the end of the day I just want to sit in peace and be.  Not only do we just sit around and eat dinner but we just watch TV and then the important stuff comes up at bedtime, when we are exhausted, and then a fight pursues because we are SOOOOO tired.  One way we have started working on this....is WALKING! We accomplish so much more, and we can walk and talk it out.  BUT!  We don't do it often enough....  


I have such an amazing life, and am given such amazing opportunities, I just weight myself down with my own worries and own insecurities. 


So I need a MAJOR attitude adjustment.  My outlook on life, my emotions towards my job, my husband, my home life, how I live my life, how I serve my GOD, how I TRUST my GOD.

Important
***Please don't get the wrong impression of me... I love God, I love my husband. There are just things in my life I feel I need to be real about in order to work on them.  There are many aspects of my life that need work.  I want to go to heaven and be told " Well done my good and faithful servant," by the One who I serve.***