Easter and a season of blessings........

Feeling the presence of God in your life is the BEST feeling in the world. Knowing that HE is in control, it can't get any better. And that is just what is going on in our lives at this moment! I know Justin and I have our ups and our downs but I love when are up and when life is right where it is supposed to be. I think it has to do more with my attitude on life, than anything else. God is always present, but it's if we are quiet enough to hear him. Through all the chaos that is our life, if you feel like He is not there.....oh He is! I think He just gets a little quieter so we really realize that we need to calm, slow, and be quiet so we can hear HIM!
I know a few posts ago, I wrote about how our life was spiraling out of control. Now it seems the complete opposite. Our life is still chaotic, but I feel a peace with knowing that as long as I put in my part, God will do the rest. I love my husband with such a love, I can't describe it. He is AMAZING! God gave him to me, and I will forever be greatful.
This sunday is Easter. I have never really felt, or realized what it all means. I mean I grew going to service and doing the whole Easter thing. I know why we celebrate it. I know Jesus died and rose again. But not until this year, I have felt the presence of God so preverently in my life. I finally feel like I am celebrating the death and ressurection of my Father! So close to me like a family member. I feel the angst that comes when someone dear to you dies. It's kind weird. Except there's an extreme twist.....He LIVES! It's so awesome! It makes my heart dance and sing to realize this fact. It helps me realize who we have lost in the past and that we will see them again. I feel like I am no longer afraid to die. The enemy cannot trick me into being afraid anymore. I won't be tricked.

I love GOd with all that I am. I love my husband with that same love, just on a different level. I feel so blessed with so many things in our life right now. I am so greatful. Our IRS troubles are gone! (at least for this year, lol) What a weight gone! We are doing so good in getting rid of our debt, I am so proud of us! It makes me realize we will not be in this place our entire lives. It is so freeing!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings on you all this Easter season! HE IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!

If you just realize, what I just realized.....

I just realized that if Justin and I are soooooooo diligent and consistant and focused we could be out of debt in 10 months....10 MONTHS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How big of a relief is that. I'm talking about our financial program we are in. we will have one more credit card to drop after that and we really will be DONE! DONE! DONE! THis is incredible! God has been so graceous to us and he hasn't let us down. I feel like there are so many wonderful things happening in our life right now, I just couldn't Not share. LIFE IS GOOD! What a great feeling I have! Loves.....ambs

Jobs, Hopes and Dreams......

So as of yesterday Justin was given a raise at his review! He received a 2.5% raise, and he is expected to get a 4% raise in July! We are beyond blessed. This will happen every year as long as he is at City of Hope. It truly is a City of Hope, not only for the patients who get admitted there, but for the employees of that wonderful place. We have been overwhelmed by God's grace and support for us by giving Justin this amazing job. He is often very tired, but he thrives off of it. He loves every second he is at work! They also just launched the new blood mobile for City of Hope! It's AWESOME! I took a tour through it after the dedication/ribbon cutting ceremony that was held this past monday. I can't believe the generosity of the donor, for giving such a beautiful contribution to this awesome cause! Just remember...BLOOD=LIFE! As for me, Monday April 4th will be my last day working at Starbucks. I have gained more hours at the architectural job that I have. I'm not completely at 40 hours, but this will give me more time to focus on doing hair on the side. I was really missing doing it, so this will be exciting for me. I am doing a wedding in May, consisting of the Bride, and 4 or 5 bridesmaids. I'm really excited! I'm also doing Amy's (my sister in law) mom's hair for Ruthie (Amy's sister) wedding. So that will be fun! I feel so excited to look back at the last 6 months and see where God has directed me. I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be. No, I don't make as much as I would like to, or have the full 40 hours I would like to, but I am HAPPY! I'm already starting to feel more balanced, and will continue to strive to be balanced. We are still working on getting out of debt, but it's hard. We don't have much more coming in, and with getting hit pretty hard by the IRS on owing them $2000.00, we have been set back quite a bit. Which in turn means it is going to take even longer to have a child. We want to be completely out of credit card debt when we have our first kid. All the credit cards that are in our Debt Program we had to cancel, so it makes no sense not to get rid of those before we have a child. We have CONTROL over that much, the rest is fine. We just really want to be financially okay before we bring a child into this world. So I guess that's it for now.. Sorry it has been a while since I have updated. I miss all of you terribly, and I know I don't get to see your faces as often as we would like to. Hopefully this will keep up updated as to what is going on in our lives! Love you all, Blessings, Amber

Tragedy, God, and Loss....

For the past couple weeks I have been reading and keeping updated on a family back in Indiana. Here is a link to her blog http://lisahusmann.wordpress.com/. I don't particularly know these people, but their story has deeply touched me and I have faithfully been praying for them. As of last night Jaxton passed away at only 2 weeks of life. He was a miracle baby to live that long. They are truly a remarkable family of God and their strength and love for God just astounds me.

Hearing the news of the horrific tsunami that hit Japan, just tore me apart today as I was sitting at my desk this morning watching devastating videos of the tragedy. I have this deep gut feeling that we, living in California are next. Not to say that I know exactly when that will happen or if it even will, but I worry.

I know that my faith has staggered off and on, which is funny how if you think about it.. God doesn't love us one day and then phase out of my life for a few weeks or months....No....He is always there....So why do i have such a hard time being focused on Him all the time. I don't leave Justin for any given time, he is my husband. I hate that something tragic makes me draw closer to HIM, when it should be all the time. I hear....."the end times are near, get your heart right with God." That is so a cop out. It should always be right with God. He is your father, your healer, your protector, your grace, and your Love of all time.

I have been really bitter lately in regards to God and I think life in general. With so much going on, I know I need to draw near to Him, but I don't, I push away. I have always done so. I hate that I do this. There is so much hate and fear and horrible things going on in the world, that why would you want to feel more alone than ever, when you can feel safe and loved by the One who controls everything in this world! His love is never ending, never failing, always true. i know these words, I hear them, I say them. But I just can't get it! I love God with all of my being, why can't I nurture our relationship?

I feel guilty for the way I act and feel. God deserves more from me.....He deserves all of me. not just when I feel like it. I want to give ALL of me to Him! I guess it just comes down to priorities. I know this has turned into an Amber blog, not a Gerhart family update blog, and for that I'm sorry. Most of what I blog about, effects Justin as well. Our spiritual life, not just mine. Our finances, not just mine. I'm feeling so much sadness for so many at this time, I can't help to call on the One who can heal and save.

On a lighter note, we are going out tonight with our friends Jenn and Craig. Craig is sending us girls out to dinner! What a guy! It will be good to catch up and have GIRL TIME!

Hope you all have a great day!

Loves!

Confused/Lost/and Thankful

Hey Guys!

I know it's been a while since I've blogged....So here goes.......

Life as of now, is so totally unbalanced it's not funny. Both for Justin and I. Church, work, spiritual life, fun, family, friends, none of them exist except for work. How could this be? How can we get so carried away by work and unhealthy habits, that we are just spiraliing down into a really bad situation. Earlier this month, last month, we got slammed with some pretty hard news from the IRS, that is going to be a major set back for us, like a year long set back. We are just frustrated moreso with it, than anything.

We still haven't decided on a church yet, that we both like. So we are still on the hunt for that. I think it is taking it's toll, between working some Sundays and not being able to go, and then just being more resentful that we can't attend, and we are so tired. Working on our marriage is just not happening, and spending quality time in front of the tv does not count as quality time. Which in turns means we are so exhausted we don't want to do anything but sit. We don't go to the gym, we don't read the Bible or spend time doing a devotion. These are all things that we long for in our life, but jsut can't get the fire to do so. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!!!!!

So, now that I have ranted and raved. How can we fix or enrich our lives? One I need to get a full time job. I'm not sure what the looks like right now, but it needs to happen. I can't have this eratically crazy job schedule anymore. I love my achitectural job, but I need 40 hours, and I can't have that. So now everything is on me and it's a sucky place to be in. Let me tell you. It's so hard, Justin has found his nitch, and loves love loves what he does. I'm so thankful for that. But i feel just left in the dust and it's totally my own fault. i can't believe that I have done this to myself.

POSTIVES:

• AMAZING Apartment to live in for really cheap!
• Justin has an AMAZING JOB!
• We both own cars that are reliable!
• We both have AMAZING family who support us!
• WE LOVE EACH OTHER!
• God is on our side and is routing in our corner for us to be GREAT!
• I HAVE a JOB! (2 to be exact).

SOOOO...

We have a lot of amazing things going for us. We just need to realize that life IS NOT perfect, and it IS hard. So we need to just suck it up and go!

THanks for listening/reading whats going on. We just ask for prayer as we are trying to figure life out. We love you and are praying for you all as well!

Ambs

Vacations and being....Broke!

So Justin and I recently took a mini vacation to Monterey! My wonderful parent's sent us there as a Christmas present, and it was wonderful, besides me being sicky! This was just one of the fabulous views we encountered on our trip. This was our view eating lunch one afternoon. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!

One thing Justin and I told ourselves this year, is we would be taking vactions.....even if they were mini. We have missed out on 2 and a half years of not doing this and we feel it is a vital part of our marriage, spending quality, fun time together. We have been so serious for 2 years and had no stress relief, that no matter what it IS happening. So far so good. We are headed to Vegas this coming weekend...like in 2 days! With our very best of married freinds Craig and Jenn! woot woot! So excited!!!!! The only problem is.....we are broke! lol...




Let me explain.......since we haven't been on a vacation in so long, we have never had to budget for one. We wen't a little crazy...ok....alot crazy in Monterey. We knew we had 2 vacations this month....but we were lets face it, DUMB! So now we are broke but going to have a fabulous time!




These are elephant seals we saw on the way up! There were thousands of them!


Justin and I are learning about how to be financially responsible...all the time.....sometimes we are good at it and sometimes we FAIL...miserably. It is life! it's a learning process all the time. We can't be right on all the time.... We LEARN from our mistakes and pray that God helps us choose better next time. What we really should be doing is asking God to bless us, and be fruitful with what HE gives us! We know we can do this. It just sucks sometimes. We do have awesome parents and family and amazing friends who help us and encourage us along the way. In the end......life is not so bad.....it's wonderful!

Contentment

So i'm finally feeling contentment and consistent motivation after a long time of not....if not ever. I have looked back on my life a realized points in my life where I have seen myself grow and mature. I think I have been waiting for that next moment for a long time. I feel like I haven't progressed until now. When I mean progress, I mean emotionally. I haven't really felt like an adult, because I have had so many times in my life where I don't really complete things I want to do or say I want to do. I don't have very good follow through. I've been better at not making promises I cannot keep. I have also found a very effective way in making sure I stick to things. I make small, very small goals for myself. This week I have actually progressed with school a bit. I had a counselor appointment on tuesday and felt so good about it. She told me I have way more units and that's great for a returning student. I have 106 units, and 42 transferable units. As of right now, I am trying to get into a life planning class that is completely full. We shall see where that goes. If I have to wait until Fall, I will, but I will get in eventually. I'm not sure where I want to go after my AA is done, but God has a plan, and His plan is perfect.

Another way I am coping with not being overwhelmed and sticking to my guns is, i'm not looking so far into the future like I used to. I used to stress myself out by looking so far into the future and not be able to cope with not being able to control it. It was very difficult. Hey God is in control, NOT me. So let's see what He has in store for Justin and I. I can feel myself grow as i get better control on my life, and accept what is, will be. I have the power to change my weight, my spiritual life, what I eat, how I treat others, and my attitude. I DON"T have the power to change the future. I am OK with that! I feel like I have come to terms and realized so much in the past few months. It feels awesome!

As for some more awesome news...Justin just got a call yesterday and he recieved a promotion at work! It's is only a dollar more an hour, but it is something he really wanted to do, and he is in heaven! City of Hope is getting a blood mobile hopefully by March. Justin will be in charge of it and driving it. He will mostly be on blood drives, and he will be in charge of more logistical things. He is so excited for this oppourtunity and can't wait to start! You should have seen him when he got the call last night....he jumpeed up and down like a little kid! (luckily we don't have neighbors below us yet!)We are so excited! We went to dinner with my parents to celebrate!

So I guess that's all for now..... Just a little thought......

peace and love....