So we are still in our two week wait period. I'm technically on day 9 post IUI. I'm "supposed" to get my period today, but even if I don't, it doesn't mean we are pregnant. I have to wait until the 26th to take a pregnancy test to see if I'm pregnant or not.
Let me just say one thing....If I allow myself to be consumed with all of this, I might have to say this is the hardest thing I've ever done. But I'm not letting myself go there. I think I've done a pretty good job of keeping my emotions even keel. (Ask Justin, he will give you a straight answer) I don't know how or what my emotions will be if we find out either way. I feel calm, but I also feel numb. I feel like I'm making myself numb out so I don't spaz out during this time.
I have been EXTREMELY tired. I'm talking falling asleep before 9 p.m. more than one night a week. I'm so exhausted every day, after everything that I have to do, I just can't get into my bed fast enough. I can't even think straight, I'm so tired. Call it what you will, I think it is the effects of the meds on my body. Yes, I am this tired.
I just want to take a minute to really thank all of you who have been non stop praying for Justin and myself. We are deeply humbled by your thoughts and prayers for us. We have been feeling your prayers and we know we are loved and held so tightly by such a loving God who wants the best for us. Please pray for continued rest, as well as strength for when we find out either way if we are or aren't pregnant. Looking back on the past month, it has been exhausting going through the Dr. appts, the meds, the horrid trigger shot, and so much more. The emotions that we have been going through are just a roller coaster. I know that we are right where we are supposed to be, and that is a great comfort.
I know some people would question with all that we have to go through, why would we do it? Well God can and does work miracles, every single day. But God has also shown people in this world the wonders of modern medicine. Since I know that I have always been wonky in the girl part area, I think deep down I knew I would have problems conceiving. We want to give our family the best chance to be a family, safely and healthy. We feel that this is the best answer to what we have been given. God gives you things in life that aren't always fair, but he wants you to respond by going to Him for guidance and love and support. He's got us. As long as wee keep looking to Him, He's got us. And coming from someone who fell away from God for a time in her life, He's even got you when you aren't seeking Him in all things. He loves us so unconditionally. He allows things to happen to us for a reason or two. When we cry out, Father! He hears us. He ALWAYS hears our cries. And that my friends, is a miracle in itself. It's simply beautiful.
Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for being our friends. And thank you for loving a merciful Father with us.
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