Letting GO.....

BEWARE

......Flat out truths about myself are to be exposed.........

Today I was sitting at my desk.... reading a friends blog who recently (like today) was featured on a blog as a guest, and I realized how much control I try to have over things I really shouldn't worry about and get upset and sick over.  I realize that there are a couple factors that go into this.

1.  My attitude...  A few years ago, my lovely mother-in-law gave us this amazing paper on attitude.  It's so true.  I just get so lazy and exhausted of life, that my attitude goes out the window.  I have so much room to improve my attitude, that I really need to start living the way God wants me to and be who He created me to be.

2.  Let Go, and Let God...I will admit that I have put no time in towards devotions, prayer time, and talking    to God about my worries and fears.   I have no real trust in my Heavenly Father, because I haven't worked at building that relationship to a solid foundation.  This is where I have always lacked due to      not having a solid relationship with God growing up.  Letting go and letting God, this is very difficult for me to do.  I know how easy it is, but it seems so hard.  I want this in my life, I just need to stop and take the time.  Life is crazy, but not crazy enough for God.  

3.  Talking more with my husband.... Once again my attitude gets in the way.  Being tired, at the end of the day I just want to sit in peace and be.  Not only do we just sit around and eat dinner but we just watch TV and then the important stuff comes up at bedtime, when we are exhausted, and then a fight pursues because we are SOOOOO tired.  One way we have started working on this....is WALKING! We accomplish so much more, and we can walk and talk it out.  BUT!  We don't do it often enough....  


I have such an amazing life, and am given such amazing opportunities, I just weight myself down with my own worries and own insecurities. 


So I need a MAJOR attitude adjustment.  My outlook on life, my emotions towards my job, my husband, my home life, how I live my life, how I serve my GOD, how I TRUST my GOD.

Important
***Please don't get the wrong impression of me... I love God, I love my husband. There are just things in my life I feel I need to be real about in order to work on them.  There are many aspects of my life that need work.  I want to go to heaven and be told " Well done my good and faithful servant," by the One who I serve.***

Lake Arrowhead!

This past Friday, Justin and I headed up to Lake Arrowhead for a family mini vacation! It was so relaxing! We had some good times just chillin' like villains and being with each other.  We stayed in a beautiful 8 bedroom house and we also had access to the UCLA  Conference Center.  Which meant, we got to use the Facilities! Beach on the lake, pool, oodles of things to do!
Mostly, we just hung out! Justin and I took a jaunt over to Big Bear Lake on Sunday afternoon, where his Aunt and Uncles usually stays up there on the weekends during the summer months.

We loved being able to spend time with Amy's, my sister in law, parents as well.  They were able to come up and be with us and we also were able to celebrate Kay's 61st birthday! It was such a great time, and the boys had some good bonding time.  I love when Justin gets to hang out with my brother, because I have always thought Matt and Amy wise.  I have always received such sounds advice from them, but most of all I really cherish it from my brother Matt.  So the boys played with their race cars and had some good "man time."

Overall awesome weekend! It was perfect weather, perfect scenery, and perfect time.

Our favorite verse....

So today I revamped our page.  I hope you like it....i'm not an html genius so there are a few flaws but I will choose to ignore them.  lol.   And I guess that gives away about how hard I work at work..shhhh... lol.  On the header it has the bible verse Jeremiah 29:11


 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."   


When I first met Justin, on our first date..... He prayed for our meal.  He was the first man I've ever gone out with who actually took initiative and prayed! Not to much later he let me in on his favorite bible verse, and this was it! Jeremiah 29:11.  Now I have always liked this verse, but Justin LOVES this verse.  Over the years, I know why.  It has also become my favorite verse out of the bible, because those words have such a strong meaning.  Our 3 years of marriage have been a rocky road with things like money, jobs, finances.  This gives us such a strong hope and security.  It is the best reminder that we will be okay and the God  will ALWAYS provide.  


It's funny...looking back He always has provided.  I remember a time right after I had lost my job and we had no money to pay our bills.  Not even to buy groceries... One day we received an unexpected tax return check in the mail of $500.00.  I don't know how it happened or where the error was.  It totally got us through and we had food on our table that month.  It was incredible.  Time and time again, God has always been right there holding our hands and holding us up.  He is the best daddy ever! ( So are you dad!) 


I hope you all can find as much meaning in this verse and find the same hope and security that we have found in it.  It is perspective and life changing.  

Distance makes the HEART grow fonder......

So this past week, I took off to Washington DC~  Our really good friends Craig and Jenn actually took me with them! Craig had to work this past weekend and Jen actually went with.  They realized last week that while Craig was working, Jen would just be sitting in the hotel room doing nothing! BORING!!!!!!!!!!!! So after trying to get one of her sisters to go I was the lucky one chosen! hahaha! I took a red eye flight(which i'm never doing EVER again) out on thursday night, got there friday morning and we started on our journey! Jen and I walked everywhere and saw everything and even got a hang of the metro! we didnt' get lost not even once! ( i can't say that about the many tickets i lost.. meaning I lost my metro ticket!).
We had so much fun! We wen't out to dinner with Craig's co-workers one night and they were very lovely people! We had a blast! So after being gone for 4 days, not having my husband there, but being with totally awesome people, my was really starting to miss my hubs! I mean I've never been away from him for so long, that I can remember.  a few days.... but almost 6 days! (including travel).  Not cool! So I will probably never go by myself again without him.  Whenever I saw something totally cool, I said to Jen......man Justin would have loved that! There is just something totally priceless of sharing something like that with the one you love, and both being equally excited about it!

To say the least, I am very thankful for the Westerbeek's and letting me come along and being so gracious to me the whole trip! Now it's back into the swing of things.....It's nice and you almost forget how much you can miss the daily grind....when the one you LOVE is in the midst of it.
Justin had a great time filling his weekend with lot's of cool things....He got to go on a ride along with his brother Darrin, He got to hang out with his friend Andrew, and see his family! what a cool way to catch up!

Anywho! hope ya'll are having an awesome weekend!

Loves

My Birthday and Baby Silas.....Pure Joy!

So for the past couple days Justin and I have been celebrating alot of things! For one, my brother Matt and his wifey Amy, just gave birth to their new baby boy, Silas McCormick Hawkins. 

He is perfect in every single way.  I have to say... they make some beautiful little kiddos.  We got the call on Sunday the 15th at about 15 to 8p.m. that Amy was going into hard labor.  Now this is no regular let's go to the hospital.... visiting hours are over.... blah blah blah... Amy is SUPERWOMAN! She had both Ali Joy and Silas at home! What a peaceful place to birth your own children! It was such a precious moment to not be around beeping and nurses bugging you, and it was awesome to just come over, plop myself on their bed and say hi to my new nephew! Amy did so awesome, she and Matt make some rather large babies.  He was 9 lbs 8 oz.  Ali was one pound less. 

On another note, it was my Birthday on Tuesday.  Which means...I was able to spend my birthday with some very important and awesome people.  In the couple days that I spent celebrating all these things...There are just a few people I haven't been able to see and you know who you are JENNN WESTERBEEK! and Craigory! lol..  

Someone took this awesome picture of my brother matt holding Silas' hands and me looking in awe.....

Over all this was the best birthday, considering up until sunday I pretty much had forgotten it was my birthday until Justin told me, EVER! It was so relaxing and I had my man, and my family, and friends.  It was super awesome!

One truely blessed woman right here.
Loves!

Easter and a season of blessings........

Feeling the presence of God in your life is the BEST feeling in the world. Knowing that HE is in control, it can't get any better. And that is just what is going on in our lives at this moment! I know Justin and I have our ups and our downs but I love when are up and when life is right where it is supposed to be. I think it has to do more with my attitude on life, than anything else. God is always present, but it's if we are quiet enough to hear him. Through all the chaos that is our life, if you feel like He is not there.....oh He is! I think He just gets a little quieter so we really realize that we need to calm, slow, and be quiet so we can hear HIM!
I know a few posts ago, I wrote about how our life was spiraling out of control. Now it seems the complete opposite. Our life is still chaotic, but I feel a peace with knowing that as long as I put in my part, God will do the rest. I love my husband with such a love, I can't describe it. He is AMAZING! God gave him to me, and I will forever be greatful.
This sunday is Easter. I have never really felt, or realized what it all means. I mean I grew going to service and doing the whole Easter thing. I know why we celebrate it. I know Jesus died and rose again. But not until this year, I have felt the presence of God so preverently in my life. I finally feel like I am celebrating the death and ressurection of my Father! So close to me like a family member. I feel the angst that comes when someone dear to you dies. It's kind weird. Except there's an extreme twist.....He LIVES! It's so awesome! It makes my heart dance and sing to realize this fact. It helps me realize who we have lost in the past and that we will see them again. I feel like I am no longer afraid to die. The enemy cannot trick me into being afraid anymore. I won't be tricked.

I love GOd with all that I am. I love my husband with that same love, just on a different level. I feel so blessed with so many things in our life right now. I am so greatful. Our IRS troubles are gone! (at least for this year, lol) What a weight gone! We are doing so good in getting rid of our debt, I am so proud of us! It makes me realize we will not be in this place our entire lives. It is so freeing!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings on you all this Easter season! HE IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!

If you just realize, what I just realized.....

I just realized that if Justin and I are soooooooo diligent and consistant and focused we could be out of debt in 10 months....10 MONTHS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How big of a relief is that. I'm talking about our financial program we are in. we will have one more credit card to drop after that and we really will be DONE! DONE! DONE! THis is incredible! God has been so graceous to us and he hasn't let us down. I feel like there are so many wonderful things happening in our life right now, I just couldn't Not share. LIFE IS GOOD! What a great feeling I have! Loves.....ambs