Fears and Doubts (27 weeks, 6 days)

The closer and closer we get to having Luke, the more and more my insides are freaking out.  What I meant to say is I don't think I'm going to be a good mom.  What I really meant to say, I think I'm going to fail.  Miserably.  Every day.  But before I psych myself out here, let me be real and honest.  After all, this is my blog, my online diary if you will.  All of my fears, doubts and lack of confidence stems from one place and one place only.  The one way down there.....yup The Devil himself.  I even hate to give him credit for that, but I know he's working on me in the worst way by filling my head up with junk.  I know what God says for me is to be true.  That I am loved, that I am His, that I will be the best mom to Luke that I can.  He will give me the strength and He will give me the will to do what I need to do for Luke.  I know I have a great partner through this journey in Justin and I couldn't think of anyone else to do this with.  He is going to be the best daddy ever.  It will be such a proud moment for me to  look over and see my best friend and deepest love holding someone that we made out of our love.  I know cheesy, but it's completely true.  I know it's not going to be easy. It's going to be quite hard actually.  Probably the hardest thing I will have ever done in my life, but it's going to be worth it.  We prayed so hard and diligently for Luke, and I know God wouldn't give him to us if He didn't think we would be fit.  It definitely takes a village.  I'm thankful for the support and love that we have around us.  We have so much to be grateful for.  So I know when those freak outs and doubts in myself, I know that is 100% not from my creator. He believes in me, more than I believe in myself.  He loves me and know's where my heart is. He knows my fears and my heartache, but He is routing in my corner.   I just hope and pray that time isn't wasted in those thoughts and doubts and that I live each moment and soak it in.  It's the little moments, I can't wait for them.